“Money can’t buy you happiness,” rocker David Lee Roth once noted, “but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.” Which is all well and good until another, bigger yacht pulls up next to yours, then poaches your captain and half the crew. In a more-is-more world, the billionaires obviously come out ahead—or do they? As we’ve seen with a few high-profile meltdowns from extremely high-net-worth public figures, a Scrooge McDuck–size vault of cash doesn’t exactly guarantee bliss (or perspective). The tension between the two groups was perfectly summed up by another music legend, the Notorious B.I.G., in the title of his 1997 banger: “Mo Money Mo Problems.”

Millionaires

Billionaires

STACKING PAPER

In dollar bills, a million bucks would reach 358 feet into the air—nearly as tall as the Miami-Dade County Courthouse.

STACKING PAPER

In singles, $1 billion gets you to 68 miles above the Earth. Jeff Bezos’s Blue Origin flights don’t even go that high.

There are 59.4 million millionaires around the world—slightly more than the population of Italy.

SQUAD SIZE

2,781. Spinal Tap has had more drummers.

New York City has 349,500 millionaire residents, the highest number of any municipality in the world—and one for every 24 people in the Big Apple.

Statue of LibertyStatue of Liberty


Stock Adobe

WHERE DO THEY LIVE?

Over two percent of the world’s billionaires live in the Bay Area, which explains those Bi-Rite prices.

Golden Gate BridgeGolden Gate Bridge


Leo Visions/Unsplash

Some estimates clock global millionaires’ combined wealth at $208 trillion.

AVAILABLE BALANCES

According to the 2024 Forbes World’s Billionaires List, the whole group is only worth around $14.2 trillion.

COULD BLOW THE WHOLE WAD ON

A Jacob & Co. Mystery Tourbillon watch. The reference set with diamonds and yellow sapphires costs exactly $1 million before taxes.

Jacob & Co. Mystery TourbillonJacob & Co. Mystery Tourbillon


Courtesy of Jacob & Co.

COULD BLOW THE WHOLE WAD ON

A pro-sports franchise.*

*If you consider the Ottawa Senators a “prosports franchise.”

Jakob Chychrun #6 of the Ottawa Senators celebrates his goal with teammates Brady Tkachuk #7, Shane Pinto #57 and Drake Batherson #19 against the Boston Bruins during the second period at the TD Garden on April 16, 2024 in Boston, Massachusetts. (Photo by Rich Gagnon/Getty Images)Jakob Chychrun #6 of the Ottawa Senators celebrates his goal with teammates Brady Tkachuk #7, Shane Pinto #57 and Drake Batherson #19 against the Boston Bruins during the second period at the TD Garden on April 16, 2024 in Boston, Massachusetts. (Photo by Rich Gagnon/Getty Images)


Rich Gagnon/Getty Images

“The first million is the hardest.”

Drake, via Twitter (now X), 6:14 a.m., May 30, 2012

Rapper, songwriter, and icon Drake attends a game between the Houston Rockets and the Cleveland Cavaliers at Toyota Center on March 16, 2024 in Houston, Texas. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Carmen Mandato/Getty Images)Rapper, songwriter, and icon Drake attends a game between the Houston Rockets and the Cleveland Cavaliers at Toyota Center on March 16, 2024 in Houston, Texas. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. (Photo by Carmen Mandato/Getty Images)


Carmen Mandato/Getty Images

ON THE SOCIALS

“The first billion is a helluva lot harder.”

T. Boone Pickens, via Twitter (now x), 8 p.m., May 30, 2012

Chairman of Boone Pickens Capital Management T. Boone Pickens speaks at the National Clean Energy Summit 2.0 at the Cox Pavilion at UNLV August 10, 2009 in Las Vegas, Nevada. Political and economic leaders are attending a two-day summit to discuss a domestic policy agenda to advance alternative energy for the country's future.  (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)Chairman of Boone Pickens Capital Management T. Boone Pickens speaks at the National Clean Energy Summit 2.0 at the Cox Pavilion at UNLV August 10, 2009 in Las Vegas, Nevada. Political and economic leaders are attending a two-day summit to discuss a domestic policy agenda to advance alternative energy for the country's future.  (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)


Ethan Miller/Getty Images

HOBBIES

Golf, wine collecting, competing for the right private schools, around-the-world air cruises, crypto speculation, snagging reservations at Dorsia.

GolferGolfer


Courtney Cook/Unsplash

HOBBIES

Polo, biohacking, competing for the America’s Cup, space exploration, stress-testing democracy.

Virgin Galactic vehicle SpaceShipTwo completes it's successful first glide flight at Mojave on October 10, 2010 over Mojave in California. (Photo by Mark Greenberg/Virgin Galactic/Getty Images)Virgin Galactic vehicle SpaceShipTwo completes it's successful first glide flight at Mojave on October 10, 2010 over Mojave in California. (Photo by Mark Greenberg/Virgin Galactic/Getty Images)


Photo by Mark Greenberg/Virgin Galactic/Getty Images